Ex- England skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the disease.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the present time," he said.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's going. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, speaking alongside his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "at ease" as he directs his attention to his present health, his family and planning ahead for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's surprise or perhaps I deal with matters differently, and after I have the facts, it's simpler," he stated further.
First Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the problem, a series of scans showed nerve cells in his neurological system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're understandably extremely affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't experience sick. I don't experience unwell
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder.
"I continue to be competent to accomplishing whatever I want. And optimistically that will continue for as long as is possible."
Illness Advancement
MND can develop rapidly.
As per the charity MND Association, the disease kills a 33% of people within a 365 days and above half within 24 months of diagnosis, as swallowing and respiration become harder.
Treatment can only retard worsening.
"It's not me that I experience sorrow for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We positioned ourselves on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and started licking the moisture off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody said the emphasis was being in the present.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be very militantly concentrated on just embracing and enjoying everything now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been really fortunate that the primary choice I made when I left playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as possible. We don't get those times back."
Athlete Association
Professional sportspeople are disproportionately influenced by MND, with studies suggesting the prevalence of the illness is up to 600% greater than in the wider community.
It is considered that by limiting the air obtainable and creating damage to nerve cells, regular, vigorous physical activity can trigger the illness in those previously genetically susceptible.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England selections and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his courageous, relentless style to the game.
He played through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a practice confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a practice gear and began throwing himself into tackles.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the throw-in in the critical passage of play, setting a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop kick.
Support System
Moody has already told Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a handful of other former team-mates about his medical situation, but the others will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are there is what's important," he said.
"The sport is such a excellent community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it finished now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your passion your vocation, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a time with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I am aware they will want to help in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
